Yesterday, I had my eyes
opened to a world to which I have never been exposed. The world of
those who are homeless, jobless and helpless because they made a
mistake at an early age and it has followed them no matter how much
they have tried to improve themselves since. In order to explain
this, I have to tell you about one person – that is my son-in-law,
Ardell Seegars. With his permission and with your patience to read
what I'm about to write, I hope maybe some of the attitudes toward
the population of people like Ardell will begin to
change. I also hope that we will realize just how important it is to
stress to our young adults to obey the laws and don't do anything for
which they might be arrested or charged. Because, as Ardell's story
shows, there isn't an easy fix.
Before I meet Ardell, I
had the same attitudes as many of you. I thought that once a person,
for whatever reason, committed a crime, paid their fines, did their
jail time and changed the attitude and mindset which caused them to
commit that crime in the first place had been accomplished, they
could then go on and build a life for themselves and become a normal
citizen of society. I labeled them as lazy, not caring and not
wanting to improve themselves. Just a plague on society – takers
and not contributors, never EVEN thinking that maybe they had been
slapped down so many times they had basically given up. I made
wrong and sinful assumptions. While this may be the case for a few,
it is not the norm and it in NEVER our place to play judge and jury
with anybody's life.
Ardell, like a lot of us,
went through a period of time during his youth where he “tried”
all those things your parents taught you never to do. Driving too
fast, drinking, hanging around with the wrong crowd, trying illegal
drugs. Pushing the limit. Some were not privileged to grow up in
stable homes with parents who had an eagle eye and kept us from doing
something stupid. If you did have that, then good for you. You
probably are more the exception to the rule than the majority.
However, even though many of us did grow up in stable homes, we still
took the opportunity to do these things without ever getting caught
and charged with a crime. We slipped “under the radar” as such.
We were lucky. Because for the ones like Ardell, who did get caught,
their lives just changed forever.
Ardell, because of these
actions, will be the first to tell you he was wrong. He will also be
the first to tell you that these actions and the reactions of law
enforcement, the work force and people who think once a criminal,
always a criminal are the very attitudes that caused him to be a
bitter, angry and discouraged person for most of his life. He
doesn't try to justify this as being right.....only as being real.
My daughter Jeannie saw
the side of Ardell that could be gentle, loving and good. She
reached out to him, taught him about Christ and in the process, fell
in love with him and he with her. As with every love story, theirs
was not without problems, especially when you put together an
explosive situation of someone who has been deathly ill all their
life and are approaching the end of their life and someone who has
been through an unbreakable system of knockdowns all his life. It
would seem to be a recipe for disaster. But there was some beauty
from ashes – albeit, plagued with problems occasionally. One
thing there was, despite all the outside opposition, was deep love
for one another. For this, I am grateful. My daughter spent her
last 8 months on this earth experiencing the kind of love for which
she had always longed and the life of which she had always dreamed.
During the last year since
her death, Ardell slipped back some into the old lifestyle to which
he was accustomed. Sometimes, even though it may not be the best
thing for you, in times of tragedy, you seek that which has in the
past brought you the most comfort. But, just as Jeannie told him, it
was no longer meant for him to live this life. He was better than
this. He could do better. He deserved better.
We kept up with him, here
and there, after he chose to leave our house a couple of month after
her death to try to go back to the roots from which he had
come......but something was different. Jeannie had taught him about
God and the Bible and he could not run from it. It followed him
where ever he was. He tried to teach those he was with, but their
hearts had not been opened to accept the gospel and God's word yet,
so it fell mostly on deaf ears. He tried to combine the old ways
with the new, but found they did not mix. And he found himself not
welcome. He drifted from here to there with different places to lay
his head most nights. Until he finally realized, he was on a road to
nowhere. Jobs would not come because of that old plaguing record
from 1998 – yes, 16 years ago – but yet future employers slammed
the door in his face. Even the jobs that not many other people
wanted turned him away because of one problem – he had a record.
Unemployment rates are so high right now that if a business or
company has 10 people with equal experience apply for a job and 9 of
them have a record and one does not, who do you think they are going
to hire. So, he did the only thing left for him to do. He became
homeless. He slept in his car where ever he could find a place to
park it for the night. Took showers at truck stops. And ate at soup
kitchens.
When I learned of this, it
broke my heart. I knew there was a good person in there somewhere
just needing a hand “UP”, not a hand “OUT”. He truly WANTED
employment. In fact, he wanted all the things all people want – a
home, a family.....a life. So Gene and I discussed it. We had
fallen on hard times ourselves many times in the past – not because
of a criminal past, but because we were trying to find medical help
for our daughter who suffered from a rare disease that had no cure
and the expenses piled up. We had to rely on other generous and kind
people to give us help to make it through. But by the grace of God,
we could easily have been in the same situation as Ardell now found
himself. So, what to do. We chose what we felt was the Christian
thing to do. We extended the hand “UP” and brought him back to
our home. When Christ was on this earth, he didn't go to the people
who were comfortable in their lives. He went to the sinners, the
prostitutes, the people who were the ones less thought of by others.
He helped those who had no way to help themselves. This was our
chance to give back in the way we had been prospered ourselves. And
it felt right.
Yesterday, Ardell and I
spent the whole day in Columbia, SC going to the different law
organizations trying to get his record straightened out because this
is his best shot at finding a decent job. Some of the things we
learned were heartbreaking. There are so many agencies involved when
someone is arrested, the records do not always get recorded in all
the areas needed properly. This is what happened with Ardell's
record. One government office shows an offense one way, another
shows it another way. Even though Ardell made restitution and paid
for each of his crimes, if the records are not kept properly, it's a
hard sell to try to make law enforcement understand – especially
when the charges are from 1998 – 17 years ago. Even the governor
does not have the power to override some of these decisions. We must
have gone back and forth between 6 or 7 offices yesterday trying to
get this cleared up. Some of the charges were eligible for
expungement (being taken off the record), so we at least made some
head way there, But, when they could not find the full history of a
charge, those were just left hanging. He now has to apply for a
pardon for those. And, even if they are deemed eligible for pardon
by a judge, it may take 7 months to a year to get them removed. In
the meantime, employers are seeing those every time they run a
background check. So his chances for a job – other than jobs where
the companies are small and pay you off the books or under the table
– are few. Yes, if you look it up on the internet, there are many
websites that say they hire people with a criminal background.
Saying it and doing it are two different things. I bet he has filed
out over 100 applications in the few weeks he has been back with us,
all to no avail. There are states that are less strict about this –
but SC is not one of them. Your nephew, niece, cousin, uncle or
friend may have found a job just fine with a record, but I assure
you, they were extremely lucky to do so and in most cases had an
inside friend or were just in the right place at the right time.
My purpose for writing
this was not to try to generate sympathy for Ardell. It is the last
thing he wants. Nor was it to try to “preach” to anyone. I'm
certainly not qualified for that and don't claim to be. I have a lot
of my own flaws that need to be dealt with. But, I wrote all this for
two purposes. One, to try to reach those of you, like me, who judge
upon first appearance, second hand knowledge, gossip and slanted
information that you have about a person. Please, don't do that. It
is not our place to be judge and jury to anyone. That is God's job
and will come when that person meets their maker one day. I'm
preaching to myself also, because I have been guilty of this as much
as the next person. And second, to make you aware that there are
those who walk among us who are hurting in ways we can not imagine.
They are struggling to just have some kind of decent life. Many of
them are Christians, as many of us claim to be. Were is the love?
Where is the forgiveness? Where is the acceptance? May God help us
all to open our eyes to the world around us and “see” each other
in a clear light and love each other with the love of which Christ
spoke as being the “greatest commandment”.
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