So, losing weight and changing your lifestyle is easy.....right???? Any intellectual, clear-headed, mature adult can handle this....you just know what to do...and DO IT!! Isn't it that easy?? If that is true, then why is there a meter set up on a website called worldmeters keeping a running tab of the number of people that are OVERWEIGHT in the world...NOT STARVING....NOT COLD....NOT HOMELESS...BUT OVERWEIGHT!!!....which at this very second on this very day is 1,659,585,710...um, yes, that's TRILLION.....and the number of dollars spent on weight loss programs in the USA TODAY...JUST THIS VERY DAY, AS OF THIS VERY SECOND is $156,460,000?? How in any world of sound reasoning does that make sense? If it is easy, WHY, after 40 years, billions of dollars and many pounds lost and gained, are we STILL AND AGAIN hearing from people like Oprah about her weight loss journey with her latest endorsement of Weight Watchers?
Think about it....we've ALL heard it and heard it and heard it again...all the facts...the number of calories you must consume/not consume in order to lose, gain, maintain weight; the kinds of foods we should/should not consume in order to lose, gain, maintain......and it's for our HEALTH....that's the most important thing!! HEALTH, first and foremost.....not how you look, but how you feel, how good your doctor's reports are, whether you can fight off disease, how you measure up to the fittest and the healthiest.....because isn't that how the true measure is taken? Well, that's the way it's supposed to be....but, ah, those society standards..... We've come so far, yet we are so far away......Thus those billions of dollars spent everyday on weight loss....always looking for the fastest way to look like the latest cover girl model.
Now, it would be easy for me to try to stand some kind of moral ground here and say that the "GOVERNMENT MADE US FAT". And while there MAY be some small idea there...after all, we have now learned that the very first food pyramid that was put out by the Department of Health telling us about a healthy diet had the model upside down....saying we should be filling up on grains and bread, white rice and potatoes.... However, blaming the government is no more correct than blaming McDonald's.. I will err on the side of caution here and say you MUST be a savvy consumer....just as when it comes to your healthcare, you can not close your eyes, bury your head in the sand and accept anything and everything you are told. If we've learned anything over the last years and months it is that WE MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR OWN ACTIONS.
All that being said, I digress.....let me get to my original subject....my "QUEST FOR HEALTH" journey. I have been on this latest particular journey (I say latest, because this is also not my first rodeo) for 47 days now. In that amount of time, I have managed to loose 17 lbs and gained more energy and stamina. But, EASY is not a word I would use. I am using a tracker (My Fitness Pal) to log my total calories and to break them down by nutrients - tracking protein, fat, sodium, carbohydrate, sugars, etc. When you download the APP and set it up, you enter all your statistics and tell it how much weight you would like to lose per week, and it calculates how many calories you should eat per day in order to achieve your goal, broken down between protein, fat, carbs, sugar, etc. It also has an entry for amount of water you drink per day ( 8 / 8 oz glasses are encouraged a day -- a standard bottle of water would equal two glasses) and the physical activity you engage in that day. I just added physical activity in the form of walking two days ago. I will try to walk 3 times a week at the local track. Let me insert here to say that I was initially excited to find water aerobics close by in Vidalia. But, in my usual knowing myself fashion, I reasoned this "lifetime" change through and knew that if I didn't make it convenient for my less than motivated self I would never stick to it. So, I bypassed the Water Aerobics classes for walking at the track early in the morning. IF I stick to this, I will check into a gym membership after a few months. Right now, that's too big a step for me to try. One change at a time. It's all I can handle.
At first, I was excited about this new lifestyle, new direction. I am still, but in a much more settled in, accepted way. There are several things I have had to face......no matter how many wonderful recipes I find, I still have to plan, prepare, shop and cook. Most of the time, this is an effort for one. Gene doesn't care for a lot of healthy foods....he never has, and try as I may, I don't see myself being able to change him anytime soon. See, the thing is with him, just like with a lot of men, he can just cut back on the AMOUNT of food he eats and lose. He has tremendous will power...if he orders french fries and he eats 10 of them and is full, he stops. However, if there are 15 on the plate, I will eventually get around to eating all 15! He cut way back on his food intake when I started this and he has already had to take up at least two notches in his belt and has come down TWO waist sizes. I know, I'm with you....NOT FAIR!! Yeah, well I got over the fairness thing a long time ago. If we were to only get what was fair in this life...well, you get my point. He is, however, VERY supportive of me! He's always my biggest cheerleader...always willing to help me in any way. He wants me to succeed because he hates to see me sick and miserable. When we both are in better health, we feel more like getting out and being active together, traveling together and doing a lot of things that we miss out on when we are sick most of the time.
After I posted on FB about my journey and my initial weight loss, I was approached about setting up a private group for those who want to support, encourage, share and learn about a healthier lifestyle. That group now exists. It's called "Strong and Healthy Friends". If you would like to join, just send me a message and I will be glad to help you. We would like to have all the members we can get because the more of us on this journey, the more support we will give each other and and will be STRONGER!!
And so, I am happy to report that so far, this journey is going well. Does that mean that I have it all together??? That I don't have any struggles with this?? That I now think I have the corner on these issues.... ABSOLUTELY NOT! I'm learning more each day as I go. I am humbled by your support and your comments. I am prayerful I will succeed. And, above all, I am thankful for each day I am given to try.....
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
The ugly truth
So, here we go.....this is my journey with trying to get control of my weight. I am leaving these journals under my original head of "And I Still Believe.." because this is all part of my life and that is my mantra for life. I will NEVER stop believing...in God, in life, in truth, in love, in consistency. I would love to have you follow, encourage, comment, whatever....but, please, try to play nice.
In my original post about trying to clean up my eating, I told you about my struggles with my health. While my struggles have not just started, they have escalated in the last two years. My body just doesn't have the strength to fight as it should and I am getting less and less able to bounce back. So, I came to the conclusion that even though it is not what I WANT to do, getting control of my weight is what I HAVE to do. The best thing I can do for self-help is change what I can....and the greatest of these is cleaning up my eating and getting my weight going in a downward direction. According to The Weight Watchers Organization, the oldest and most successful weight loss organization around, AND many doctors and nutritionists, just a 10% weight loss can lower your cholesterol, lower your blood pressure, improve your body's ability to use the insulin it produces on it's on, improves your mental function, your energy and your outlook. It also gives you an opportunity to see how successful you will be at losing even more if this is your need....it's just the beginning. But, if you find it too hard to do 10%, then just think how hard it will be to do 30%, 40% or more...because many times, with someone who has a problem controlling their food intake, they NEED to do more than 10% weight loss. Weight loss must start somewhere...and setting your first goal at 10% is ideal. Manage that hurdle and then go from there, if necessary.
There are a LOT of ways to try to lose weight.....more than this blog will hold. If you chose to do this, only you can decide what will work best for you. Having gone on MANY diets over the years, I can speak from experience when I say that DIETS will not work in the long run. You HAVE to adapt to and embrace a completely new way of thinking about food. Without that, you will not succeed in the long run and even with that, it is an uphill struggle. So, you have to find something that you can think of as a permanent change in lifestyle, not a DIET! Sneaking food, exaggerating a weight loss or purposely going off your plan MUST BE OWNED! As long as any of us stick our heads in the sand and don't accept what is real, we will never achieve permanent goals with this. It will always be something we are "doing" and we will always be constantly looking for the end when we can go back to our "normal" way of eating again. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself....is eating the way I do worth the way I feel and look? If you can answer yes to that question, then you don't need this blog. But, if you know you can do better, then hang around and we will try this thing together.
So, buckle up buttercup, we are in for a ride!! I will do my best to pass on to you any information I receive, but know this up front: I AM NOT A DOCTOR, A NUTRITIONIST, A NURSE or any type of person that has any formal training in weight loss or health issues related. Please check EVERYTHING!! Don't take anything I say as gospel truth....I have access to the same information that you do! I am working with a nutritionist and I will gladly share information that I feel is generally helpful. But, please, please NEVER use my words alone to help you decide if, how or what you will do...about weight loss or food choices for you or health gains or losses. YOU must be your own tracker, dietician and goal seeker. I do hope that one thing you gain from me is ENCOURAGEMENT!
Before I end this, I will tell you this much....over the last months when my health has been so bad I have had little I was able to do except watch TV. One of the programs that significantly impacted me was "My 600 LB Life". No, I do not have that much weight to loss....but there but by the grace of TIME and BAD HABITS go I! Watching these people who are facing certain death if they don't change their lives and break their bad habits was quite an awakening for me. How was I different? Only by a number on the scale. I watched as they talked about an unhealthy relationship with food that existed for me also. They struggled with soft drinks, sweets, fried foods, snacks, fast food.....I struggle with the SAME THINGS! I watched as some of them really took it seriously....and some of them didn't....and the consequences of both. It made me take a long, hard look at my diet...the good, the bad and the ugly. And, I found there was more good than bad and more ugly than not. So, thus my change in thinking..... Just like them, I must succeed....because like it or not, if I don't, I won't be here much longer....
In my original post about trying to clean up my eating, I told you about my struggles with my health. While my struggles have not just started, they have escalated in the last two years. My body just doesn't have the strength to fight as it should and I am getting less and less able to bounce back. So, I came to the conclusion that even though it is not what I WANT to do, getting control of my weight is what I HAVE to do. The best thing I can do for self-help is change what I can....and the greatest of these is cleaning up my eating and getting my weight going in a downward direction. According to The Weight Watchers Organization, the oldest and most successful weight loss organization around, AND many doctors and nutritionists, just a 10% weight loss can lower your cholesterol, lower your blood pressure, improve your body's ability to use the insulin it produces on it's on, improves your mental function, your energy and your outlook. It also gives you an opportunity to see how successful you will be at losing even more if this is your need....it's just the beginning. But, if you find it too hard to do 10%, then just think how hard it will be to do 30%, 40% or more...because many times, with someone who has a problem controlling their food intake, they NEED to do more than 10% weight loss. Weight loss must start somewhere...and setting your first goal at 10% is ideal. Manage that hurdle and then go from there, if necessary.
There are a LOT of ways to try to lose weight.....more than this blog will hold. If you chose to do this, only you can decide what will work best for you. Having gone on MANY diets over the years, I can speak from experience when I say that DIETS will not work in the long run. You HAVE to adapt to and embrace a completely new way of thinking about food. Without that, you will not succeed in the long run and even with that, it is an uphill struggle. So, you have to find something that you can think of as a permanent change in lifestyle, not a DIET! Sneaking food, exaggerating a weight loss or purposely going off your plan MUST BE OWNED! As long as any of us stick our heads in the sand and don't accept what is real, we will never achieve permanent goals with this. It will always be something we are "doing" and we will always be constantly looking for the end when we can go back to our "normal" way of eating again. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself....is eating the way I do worth the way I feel and look? If you can answer yes to that question, then you don't need this blog. But, if you know you can do better, then hang around and we will try this thing together.
So, buckle up buttercup, we are in for a ride!! I will do my best to pass on to you any information I receive, but know this up front: I AM NOT A DOCTOR, A NUTRITIONIST, A NURSE or any type of person that has any formal training in weight loss or health issues related. Please check EVERYTHING!! Don't take anything I say as gospel truth....I have access to the same information that you do! I am working with a nutritionist and I will gladly share information that I feel is generally helpful. But, please, please NEVER use my words alone to help you decide if, how or what you will do...about weight loss or food choices for you or health gains or losses. YOU must be your own tracker, dietician and goal seeker. I do hope that one thing you gain from me is ENCOURAGEMENT!
Before I end this, I will tell you this much....over the last months when my health has been so bad I have had little I was able to do except watch TV. One of the programs that significantly impacted me was "My 600 LB Life". No, I do not have that much weight to loss....but there but by the grace of TIME and BAD HABITS go I! Watching these people who are facing certain death if they don't change their lives and break their bad habits was quite an awakening for me. How was I different? Only by a number on the scale. I watched as they talked about an unhealthy relationship with food that existed for me also. They struggled with soft drinks, sweets, fried foods, snacks, fast food.....I struggle with the SAME THINGS! I watched as some of them really took it seriously....and some of them didn't....and the consequences of both. It made me take a long, hard look at my diet...the good, the bad and the ugly. And, I found there was more good than bad and more ugly than not. So, thus my change in thinking..... Just like them, I must succeed....because like it or not, if I don't, I won't be here much longer....
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
To Have and to hold......
On Saturday, June 7, 2014, at 6:20 AM, Gene and I experienced what I hope never happens to any other parents. Our 36 year old daughter, Jeannie Marie Pierce Seegars, died from the very rare and misunderstood disease, gastroparesis. She lost a battle she had been fighting for 21 of her short 36 years. The following is my thoughts on how MY life has been since that day:
As I look back now, I think for the first year, I was in shock. So much happened in that span of time, my body just could not process all of it and there was a large part of me that just stopped functioning. It's understandable......hard, but VERY understandable. There are things about that year that if asked about now, I could not tell you for the life of me. My body's fight or flight defense kicked into gear and I fled - or my mind did. Gene and I woke up each day, put feet to the floor and carried on. But, inside my mind, I curled up in a little ball and pulled my shell around me and disappeared. My emotions, my feelings, my temper all were raw and right on the surface. I went into a mental tailspin. I lost my identity. I no longer knew who I was or even who I was supposed to be.
Into the second year, I began to discover the new me I had become. Because, like it or not, when you lose a child to death, it changes you.....forever. You see the world through different eyes. You even talk differently. Everything now is categorized into "before" and "after". You don't dare think on any one issue for very long, because this black hole would suck you back in and not let you go. You fight for every breath, every step, every bit of energy you can muster. Starting with a small hole in my cocoon of protection, I slowly began to see the light of day again. But, where before the criticizing words had just bounced off my tight cocoon, now they began to penetrate. "You are not relying on your faith" they whispered in my ear. "You are losing the battle for your sanity because you are allowing Satan in to kill and to steal" they said.
So I tried to stay in God's word. I could not, I WOULD not lose my soul over this. Jeannie wouldn't have wanted that. THAT would have made her more unhappy than anything else I could have done.. but, the Word of God just became words on a page. They didn't give me what I needed NOT because GOD HAD MOVED.... but because I HAD..... I wasn't mad at Him, I didn't question Him, I just couldn't FEEL HIM... Thank God the Bible says in Romans 8:26-27 that when we can't pray, the Spirit intercedes for us through "wordless groans"......that described it perfectly...."wordless groans". Everybody kept saying to me "don't you get it? She's in a better place" or "you wouldn't want her back as sick as she was" or "you have the wonderful promise that you will see her again one day", and my favorite "we do not grieve as those who have no hope because of the promise that we will be together again one sweet day".... I even said those same things out loud, hoping, praying, beseeching my heart to listen. My logical mind knew it, but my physical and human heart was wounded and bleeding.
We have a tradition in this country that we practice during which two people who have decided they want to live with each other through the rest of their natural human life exchange vows of commitment to each other. In our society we call it marriage. I'm sure you are familiar with those vows - to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, as long as we both shall live..... It should be that way with our children too. I, your parent, take you, my child to be my heart, my soul and my responsibility. To have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, as long as we both shall live. Most parents DO make these vows to their children.....usually unspoken, but definitely practiced..... Sure, they leave home to make their own way in the world, and that's as it should be, but the vow is never broken.
To have and to hold.......but, see, I didn't have that part anymore....I couldn't have and I couldn't hold because of disease from a flawed and sinful world that had intervened.
It's just been this third year that I have begun to feel the stirrings of life in my heart again. I'm finally getting to the point that I can talk about the REAL Jeannie. She wasn't a saint. She made mistakes like all of us. She sinned like all of us. She hurt people's feelings, like all of us. She had enemies, like all of us. She had regrets - a lot of them - like all of us. She had a temper, she mouthed off and then wished she had not, like all of us...especially in the last few months and days..... I won't make excuses for her. I will say that I don't know what it feels like to know you only have a short time left or what I would say or do when those you hold dear in your heart turn away from you because of things you say to them....not realizing that soon time would run out and the chance to forgive would be forever gone. Sad that things had to end that way.......just very sad....... I've said since that had she been a 90 year old laying on her death bed, anything she said would have been attributed to her age and the fact that she was dying and given no merit. But, when a 36 year old acts the same way lying on her death bed, there is thought to be no excuse and her mindset at the time is considered to be rational, despite the fact that she was having up to twenty seizures a day and mini-strokes many of those times, which played a big part in her actions and words.
Three years now and finally I am able to enjoy talking about the fun times with the REAL Jeannie... the love she had for others through illness and pain, the strength through adversity, the incredible faith, the lasting impression she left on other's hearts - once you meet her, you would never forget her! Her infectious laughter, her quirky words, her hair color of the day, her unique sense of style, her many talents, her tender heart for any and everyone who had been through hard times or had caught a bad break or needed a helping hand, her strong passion for the things in which she believed and her uncanny ability to turn a bad situation around and make it a bearable one....and yes, her intense love of all things family.....
Three years is a long time to not be able to have and to hold...........and I don't have a clue how long it will be before I get to see that smiling face again.....too long for me. Because even one more day, one more hour, one more minute, one more second is too long for me........ at least I am finally able - on most days - to give it to God and and hear His whispers of comfort that come in the form of others who care and give me encouragement.....I'm finally able to catch a glimpse of the beauty around me again instead of just the darkness......
I don't know what year four will bring. I'm sure this hole in my heart will still hurt...but I will continue to put my feet on the floor every morning and carry on as best I can. I will continue to be an advocate for change in the field of knowledge of this terrible disease that took my daughter from me as long as I have breath.....and, as much as I'm allowed, I will love friends and family with a deeper intensity.....because I've learned life is too short and too precious to do it any other way.
Christie Seegars and Jeannie Pierce Seegars -
Taken two days before Jeannie died. She could not
sit up alone - Christie was holding her up........You can
tell by the way her face was pulled to one side that she'd
had multiple strokes by this time......but she still managed to
smile......
As I look back now, I think for the first year, I was in shock. So much happened in that span of time, my body just could not process all of it and there was a large part of me that just stopped functioning. It's understandable......hard, but VERY understandable. There are things about that year that if asked about now, I could not tell you for the life of me. My body's fight or flight defense kicked into gear and I fled - or my mind did. Gene and I woke up each day, put feet to the floor and carried on. But, inside my mind, I curled up in a little ball and pulled my shell around me and disappeared. My emotions, my feelings, my temper all were raw and right on the surface. I went into a mental tailspin. I lost my identity. I no longer knew who I was or even who I was supposed to be.
Into the second year, I began to discover the new me I had become. Because, like it or not, when you lose a child to death, it changes you.....forever. You see the world through different eyes. You even talk differently. Everything now is categorized into "before" and "after". You don't dare think on any one issue for very long, because this black hole would suck you back in and not let you go. You fight for every breath, every step, every bit of energy you can muster. Starting with a small hole in my cocoon of protection, I slowly began to see the light of day again. But, where before the criticizing words had just bounced off my tight cocoon, now they began to penetrate. "You are not relying on your faith" they whispered in my ear. "You are losing the battle for your sanity because you are allowing Satan in to kill and to steal" they said.
So I tried to stay in God's word. I could not, I WOULD not lose my soul over this. Jeannie wouldn't have wanted that. THAT would have made her more unhappy than anything else I could have done.. but, the Word of God just became words on a page. They didn't give me what I needed NOT because GOD HAD MOVED.... but because I HAD..... I wasn't mad at Him, I didn't question Him, I just couldn't FEEL HIM... Thank God the Bible says in Romans 8:26-27 that when we can't pray, the Spirit intercedes for us through "wordless groans"......that described it perfectly...."wordless groans". Everybody kept saying to me "don't you get it? She's in a better place" or "you wouldn't want her back as sick as she was" or "you have the wonderful promise that you will see her again one day", and my favorite "we do not grieve as those who have no hope because of the promise that we will be together again one sweet day".... I even said those same things out loud, hoping, praying, beseeching my heart to listen. My logical mind knew it, but my physical and human heart was wounded and bleeding.
We have a tradition in this country that we practice during which two people who have decided they want to live with each other through the rest of their natural human life exchange vows of commitment to each other. In our society we call it marriage. I'm sure you are familiar with those vows - to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, as long as we both shall live..... It should be that way with our children too. I, your parent, take you, my child to be my heart, my soul and my responsibility. To have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, as long as we both shall live. Most parents DO make these vows to their children.....usually unspoken, but definitely practiced..... Sure, they leave home to make their own way in the world, and that's as it should be, but the vow is never broken.
To have and to hold.......but, see, I didn't have that part anymore....I couldn't have and I couldn't hold because of disease from a flawed and sinful world that had intervened.
It's just been this third year that I have begun to feel the stirrings of life in my heart again. I'm finally getting to the point that I can talk about the REAL Jeannie. She wasn't a saint. She made mistakes like all of us. She sinned like all of us. She hurt people's feelings, like all of us. She had enemies, like all of us. She had regrets - a lot of them - like all of us. She had a temper, she mouthed off and then wished she had not, like all of us...especially in the last few months and days..... I won't make excuses for her. I will say that I don't know what it feels like to know you only have a short time left or what I would say or do when those you hold dear in your heart turn away from you because of things you say to them....not realizing that soon time would run out and the chance to forgive would be forever gone. Sad that things had to end that way.......just very sad....... I've said since that had she been a 90 year old laying on her death bed, anything she said would have been attributed to her age and the fact that she was dying and given no merit. But, when a 36 year old acts the same way lying on her death bed, there is thought to be no excuse and her mindset at the time is considered to be rational, despite the fact that she was having up to twenty seizures a day and mini-strokes many of those times, which played a big part in her actions and words.
Three years now and finally I am able to enjoy talking about the fun times with the REAL Jeannie... the love she had for others through illness and pain, the strength through adversity, the incredible faith, the lasting impression she left on other's hearts - once you meet her, you would never forget her! Her infectious laughter, her quirky words, her hair color of the day, her unique sense of style, her many talents, her tender heart for any and everyone who had been through hard times or had caught a bad break or needed a helping hand, her strong passion for the things in which she believed and her uncanny ability to turn a bad situation around and make it a bearable one....and yes, her intense love of all things family.....
Three years is a long time to not be able to have and to hold...........and I don't have a clue how long it will be before I get to see that smiling face again.....too long for me. Because even one more day, one more hour, one more minute, one more second is too long for me........ at least I am finally able - on most days - to give it to God and and hear His whispers of comfort that come in the form of others who care and give me encouragement.....I'm finally able to catch a glimpse of the beauty around me again instead of just the darkness......
I don't know what year four will bring. I'm sure this hole in my heart will still hurt...but I will continue to put my feet on the floor every morning and carry on as best I can. I will continue to be an advocate for change in the field of knowledge of this terrible disease that took my daughter from me as long as I have breath.....and, as much as I'm allowed, I will love friends and family with a deeper intensity.....because I've learned life is too short and too precious to do it any other way.
Christie Seegars and Jeannie Pierce Seegars -
Taken two days before Jeannie died. She could not
sit up alone - Christie was holding her up........You can
tell by the way her face was pulled to one side that she'd
had multiple strokes by this time......but she still managed to
smile......
Thursday, October 22, 2015
REUNION 2015
It was a cool night....about 59 degrees. As different ones began to arrive, laughter and talk filled the air. There were hugs and handshakes and exchanges of pleasantries. I sat under the arbor that leads into the yard of Oakhill Plantation armed with printed name tags and blank ones for guests. No one was supposed to get by me without being tagged and numbered for a later event that would include the gifts we had for all attendees. As cars parked and attendees got out and made their way toward me, I did my best to recognize who they were and be ready to give them their correct tag. Some were easy....some not so much. After all, this was the first time I had seen some of them in the 45 years since we had graduated!
To me, class reunions are a fun time. They serve a purpose in life, just as family reunions, church homecomings and such. That's why several years before, there were three or four of us who decided we would make sure our class had a reunion at designated periods of time until we all eventually faded away. If you look back at the years of time spent together during a required period of education, you come to realize just how much time you spent with these people who became like a family to you. For some, these were happy years. For others, years they would rather forget. But, either way, we decided there should be the opportunity for those who wanted to participate to come together periodically to catch up on each others lives and keep in touch with those with whom we spent a lot of our life.
We had sent out 129 invitations......we had only 21 actual classmates attend. We were statistically close to the norm - which is about 20%. But, we were disappointed that we didn't have more. However, there were extenuating circumstances. Several illnesses that could not have been foreseen and several last minute family obligations. Those should always be expected because life happens - not matter how much work went into the planning and execution of a reunion.
Those of us who did attend had a very good time. We laughed and ate and socialized with our 60's and 70's music playing softly in the background. We remembered the ones who were no longer among our number because of death and talked about those that we knew that had chronic illnesses and were not able to attend. We signed a book for a class member who has an illness that will take his life soon so he would know how much he was missed. He had been one of our regulars and always been such a joy to be around....we all really missed him and it made us realize all to clear how life can be cut short at any time and there may not be those opportunities to see each other again.
Each time we have had one of these over the last few years, we have had people come who were not there before. I think slowly but surely we are realizing that it's not where you live, how big your house is, how much money you make or whether you can still wear your clothes from high school that matter anymore. It's that these are friendships that were bonded during formative years of our lives and so will always be special to us.
I think my husband said it best after the reunion was over. He said "you build up your anticipation and excitement about seeing those you haven't seen in a while, you come and have a wonderful time and then, before you know it, it's over. And, then you experience a sort of let down. Nobody wants to say goodbye. Because you don't know if this may be the last time......it's a sadness in a way. But, also a satisfaction....because if tomorrow never comes, you will still have the memories of today.......".
2020.....that will be our next opportunity.....our 50th reunion. Until then, may God watch over us all till we can gather again......
To me, class reunions are a fun time. They serve a purpose in life, just as family reunions, church homecomings and such. That's why several years before, there were three or four of us who decided we would make sure our class had a reunion at designated periods of time until we all eventually faded away. If you look back at the years of time spent together during a required period of education, you come to realize just how much time you spent with these people who became like a family to you. For some, these were happy years. For others, years they would rather forget. But, either way, we decided there should be the opportunity for those who wanted to participate to come together periodically to catch up on each others lives and keep in touch with those with whom we spent a lot of our life.
We had sent out 129 invitations......we had only 21 actual classmates attend. We were statistically close to the norm - which is about 20%. But, we were disappointed that we didn't have more. However, there were extenuating circumstances. Several illnesses that could not have been foreseen and several last minute family obligations. Those should always be expected because life happens - not matter how much work went into the planning and execution of a reunion.
Those of us who did attend had a very good time. We laughed and ate and socialized with our 60's and 70's music playing softly in the background. We remembered the ones who were no longer among our number because of death and talked about those that we knew that had chronic illnesses and were not able to attend. We signed a book for a class member who has an illness that will take his life soon so he would know how much he was missed. He had been one of our regulars and always been such a joy to be around....we all really missed him and it made us realize all to clear how life can be cut short at any time and there may not be those opportunities to see each other again.
Each time we have had one of these over the last few years, we have had people come who were not there before. I think slowly but surely we are realizing that it's not where you live, how big your house is, how much money you make or whether you can still wear your clothes from high school that matter anymore. It's that these are friendships that were bonded during formative years of our lives and so will always be special to us.
I think my husband said it best after the reunion was over. He said "you build up your anticipation and excitement about seeing those you haven't seen in a while, you come and have a wonderful time and then, before you know it, it's over. And, then you experience a sort of let down. Nobody wants to say goodbye. Because you don't know if this may be the last time......it's a sadness in a way. But, also a satisfaction....because if tomorrow never comes, you will still have the memories of today.......".
2020.....that will be our next opportunity.....our 50th reunion. Until then, may God watch over us all till we can gather again......
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
And the greatest of these is LOVE.........
Yesterday, I had my eyes
opened to a world to which I have never been exposed. The world of
those who are homeless, jobless and helpless because they made a
mistake at an early age and it has followed them no matter how much
they have tried to improve themselves since. In order to explain
this, I have to tell you about one person – that is my son-in-law,
Ardell Seegars. With his permission and with your patience to read
what I'm about to write, I hope maybe some of the attitudes toward
the population of people like Ardell will begin to
change. I also hope that we will realize just how important it is to
stress to our young adults to obey the laws and don't do anything for
which they might be arrested or charged. Because, as Ardell's story
shows, there isn't an easy fix.
Before I meet Ardell, I
had the same attitudes as many of you. I thought that once a person,
for whatever reason, committed a crime, paid their fines, did their
jail time and changed the attitude and mindset which caused them to
commit that crime in the first place had been accomplished, they
could then go on and build a life for themselves and become a normal
citizen of society. I labeled them as lazy, not caring and not
wanting to improve themselves. Just a plague on society – takers
and not contributors, never EVEN thinking that maybe they had been
slapped down so many times they had basically given up. I made
wrong and sinful assumptions. While this may be the case for a few,
it is not the norm and it in NEVER our place to play judge and jury
with anybody's life.
Ardell, like a lot of us,
went through a period of time during his youth where he “tried”
all those things your parents taught you never to do. Driving too
fast, drinking, hanging around with the wrong crowd, trying illegal
drugs. Pushing the limit. Some were not privileged to grow up in
stable homes with parents who had an eagle eye and kept us from doing
something stupid. If you did have that, then good for you. You
probably are more the exception to the rule than the majority.
However, even though many of us did grow up in stable homes, we still
took the opportunity to do these things without ever getting caught
and charged with a crime. We slipped “under the radar” as such.
We were lucky. Because for the ones like Ardell, who did get caught,
their lives just changed forever.
Ardell, because of these
actions, will be the first to tell you he was wrong. He will also be
the first to tell you that these actions and the reactions of law
enforcement, the work force and people who think once a criminal,
always a criminal are the very attitudes that caused him to be a
bitter, angry and discouraged person for most of his life. He
doesn't try to justify this as being right.....only as being real.
My daughter Jeannie saw
the side of Ardell that could be gentle, loving and good. She
reached out to him, taught him about Christ and in the process, fell
in love with him and he with her. As with every love story, theirs
was not without problems, especially when you put together an
explosive situation of someone who has been deathly ill all their
life and are approaching the end of their life and someone who has
been through an unbreakable system of knockdowns all his life. It
would seem to be a recipe for disaster. But there was some beauty
from ashes – albeit, plagued with problems occasionally. One
thing there was, despite all the outside opposition, was deep love
for one another. For this, I am grateful. My daughter spent her
last 8 months on this earth experiencing the kind of love for which
she had always longed and the life of which she had always dreamed.
During the last year since
her death, Ardell slipped back some into the old lifestyle to which
he was accustomed. Sometimes, even though it may not be the best
thing for you, in times of tragedy, you seek that which has in the
past brought you the most comfort. But, just as Jeannie told him, it
was no longer meant for him to live this life. He was better than
this. He could do better. He deserved better.
We kept up with him, here
and there, after he chose to leave our house a couple of month after
her death to try to go back to the roots from which he had
come......but something was different. Jeannie had taught him about
God and the Bible and he could not run from it. It followed him
where ever he was. He tried to teach those he was with, but their
hearts had not been opened to accept the gospel and God's word yet,
so it fell mostly on deaf ears. He tried to combine the old ways
with the new, but found they did not mix. And he found himself not
welcome. He drifted from here to there with different places to lay
his head most nights. Until he finally realized, he was on a road to
nowhere. Jobs would not come because of that old plaguing record
from 1998 – yes, 16 years ago – but yet future employers slammed
the door in his face. Even the jobs that not many other people
wanted turned him away because of one problem – he had a record.
Unemployment rates are so high right now that if a business or
company has 10 people with equal experience apply for a job and 9 of
them have a record and one does not, who do you think they are going
to hire. So, he did the only thing left for him to do. He became
homeless. He slept in his car where ever he could find a place to
park it for the night. Took showers at truck stops. And ate at soup
kitchens.
When I learned of this, it
broke my heart. I knew there was a good person in there somewhere
just needing a hand “UP”, not a hand “OUT”. He truly WANTED
employment. In fact, he wanted all the things all people want – a
home, a family.....a life. So Gene and I discussed it. We had
fallen on hard times ourselves many times in the past – not because
of a criminal past, but because we were trying to find medical help
for our daughter who suffered from a rare disease that had no cure
and the expenses piled up. We had to rely on other generous and kind
people to give us help to make it through. But by the grace of God,
we could easily have been in the same situation as Ardell now found
himself. So, what to do. We chose what we felt was the Christian
thing to do. We extended the hand “UP” and brought him back to
our home. When Christ was on this earth, he didn't go to the people
who were comfortable in their lives. He went to the sinners, the
prostitutes, the people who were the ones less thought of by others.
He helped those who had no way to help themselves. This was our
chance to give back in the way we had been prospered ourselves. And
it felt right.
Yesterday, Ardell and I
spent the whole day in Columbia, SC going to the different law
organizations trying to get his record straightened out because this
is his best shot at finding a decent job. Some of the things we
learned were heartbreaking. There are so many agencies involved when
someone is arrested, the records do not always get recorded in all
the areas needed properly. This is what happened with Ardell's
record. One government office shows an offense one way, another
shows it another way. Even though Ardell made restitution and paid
for each of his crimes, if the records are not kept properly, it's a
hard sell to try to make law enforcement understand – especially
when the charges are from 1998 – 17 years ago. Even the governor
does not have the power to override some of these decisions. We must
have gone back and forth between 6 or 7 offices yesterday trying to
get this cleared up. Some of the charges were eligible for
expungement (being taken off the record), so we at least made some
head way there, But, when they could not find the full history of a
charge, those were just left hanging. He now has to apply for a
pardon for those. And, even if they are deemed eligible for pardon
by a judge, it may take 7 months to a year to get them removed. In
the meantime, employers are seeing those every time they run a
background check. So his chances for a job – other than jobs where
the companies are small and pay you off the books or under the table
– are few. Yes, if you look it up on the internet, there are many
websites that say they hire people with a criminal background.
Saying it and doing it are two different things. I bet he has filed
out over 100 applications in the few weeks he has been back with us,
all to no avail. There are states that are less strict about this –
but SC is not one of them. Your nephew, niece, cousin, uncle or
friend may have found a job just fine with a record, but I assure
you, they were extremely lucky to do so and in most cases had an
inside friend or were just in the right place at the right time.
My purpose for writing
this was not to try to generate sympathy for Ardell. It is the last
thing he wants. Nor was it to try to “preach” to anyone. I'm
certainly not qualified for that and don't claim to be. I have a lot
of my own flaws that need to be dealt with. But, I wrote all this for
two purposes. One, to try to reach those of you, like me, who judge
upon first appearance, second hand knowledge, gossip and slanted
information that you have about a person. Please, don't do that. It
is not our place to be judge and jury to anyone. That is God's job
and will come when that person meets their maker one day. I'm
preaching to myself also, because I have been guilty of this as much
as the next person. And second, to make you aware that there are
those who walk among us who are hurting in ways we can not imagine.
They are struggling to just have some kind of decent life. Many of
them are Christians, as many of us claim to be. Were is the love?
Where is the forgiveness? Where is the acceptance? May God help us
all to open our eyes to the world around us and “see” each other
in a clear light and love each other with the love of which Christ
spoke as being the “greatest commandment”.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Mother's Day
Sunday, May 10th, we will celebrate Mother's Day 2015 - a national holiday to honor Mother's that has the following history taken from wikipedia and I quote:
"The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world". Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.
Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. Jarvis' push to create an official holiday was met with opposition by some. Sen. Henry Moore Teller described the notion of Mother's Day as "absolutely absurd," and "trifling." In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.
Although Jarvis was successful in founding Mother's Day she soon became resentful of the commercialization and was angry that companies would profit from the holiday. By the early 1920s, Hallmark and other companies started selling Mother's Day cards. Jarvis became so embittered by what she saw as misinterpretation and exploitation that she protested and even tried to rescind Mother's Day. The holiday that she worked so hard for was supposed to be about sentiment, not about profit. Jarvis's intention for the holiday had been for people to appreciate and honor mothers by writing a personal letter, by hand, expressing love and gratitude, rather than buying gifts and pre-made cards. Jarvis organized boycotts and threatened lawsuits to try to stop the commercialization. She crashed a candymakers' convention in Philadelphia in 1923. Two years later she protested at a confab of the American War Mothers, which raised money by selling carnations, the flower associated with Mother’s Day, and was arrested for disturbing the peace.
Jarvis's holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world." End quote.
I'll have to say that I agree with Ms. Javis' assessment - but this holiday is not the only one tainted by the greed of money hungry companies that pull your heart strings because they have learned to do that so well and have become extremely rich doing it.
There could be an argument made that Mothers are the most influencing factor in most people's lives. After all, we each are made within our Mother's bodies, we develop and grow and then enter the world through her labor, pain and effort. But, that is not the definition of a Mother any more than the sperm donor being the definition of a Father. So, while it may be true that Mother's carry a huge influence on our lives, it is not because of the physical connection of the act of childbirth.
Mother's are made when a loving bond is formed between two hearts........When a child attaches themselves to a woman's heart, in any form, and a woman attaches themselves to a child's heart, in any form, a Mother is born. I do believe God intended it this way. Actually, if you go back to the story in the Bible of the Garden of Eden, becoming a Mother in the traditional sense - giving physical birth to a child - was a punishment pronounced on Eve and all women to follow for breaking God's commandment. Doesn't sound like a very loving situation in that sense does it?
My Mother was my biological Mother in the sense that I came to be her child through the womb growing, painful birthing method. But, she was so much more...........
My Mother had a hard life compared to most. She grew up in a loving family - they worked hard to eek out a living on the land, farming, growing and harvesting as the weather allowed. She only had an eighth grade education - the idea being that most women would not need education because they would have a husband later in life to provide the monetary needs. An education was seen as a waste of time for girls when they could be home helping in the fields. Her father had diabetes and in those days there was not a lot of knowledge about correct treatment, so he died when he was quite young, as was my mother. Her mother took over the running of the farm and the carrying on of the family with the help of her sons. All the children, including my mother, were taught that life was hard, but when the going got tough you didn't give up, you kept going. They were a God-fearing, church going, Christian family - the kind of family that was the original backbone of this nation......sad to say we've come a long way from that now. They were the rule, not the exception unlike today when it seems to be just the opposite.
She ran away and married my father - her family forbidding the union because of age and need for her help on the farm. She regretted it from the first day...... My father was a hard man..strict, demanding, hard to love. But my mother had been so ingrained with the idea that you took the cards you were dealt and made the best of them that she forged ahead. She was a farm wife who never got a thank you, a gift, even an act of kindness from her husband for 25 years. Her life consisted of trying to meet the many demands laid on her by my father daily and the raising of five children. We were a church going family and my father was a deacon and a highly respected man of the church because, unfortunately, the church didn't know the real man the way his family did. When I was ten years old, my father grew tired of the boring life of a farmer and decided he needed a change - a mistress, a different job, a different town and a completely different way of life that excluded church. So my mother was tossed aside like a rag doll and left to her fend for herself. I always loved my mother and was proud of her, but I guess this is the time of her life that I will always remember her as being one of the strongest women I would ever know. Amidst unfathomable odds, she reinvented herself. She walked into the bank in our small town and boldly asked for a loan - on her own signature. She had nothing to offer. Just her word. She asked for money to buy a used car, to rent a house and to keep her afloat until she could get a job at a local factory doing the only thing she knew how to do - sew. The bank gave her the loan on her word only. My older sister taught her how to drive. She got the sewing job, rented a house and moved the remains of her family to town, starting all over again.
Most mothers don't have it that hard......many others have it harder. But there is a common thread that runs through all mothers of all types........they would lay down their life in a heartbeat for the safety and welfare of their child....that child to which their heart bonded in love many years before. See, there's something every mother knows. That card that their child makes for them that is smeared with extra paint, has messy writing and sometimes just has their name means more to them than 10,000 commercially printed and sold cards. THAT is the one that will be kept for years to come, will go in the scrapbook or the memory box or the drawer that holds the special items that speak to a mother's heart.
So, yes, Mrs. Jarvis, there will be a lot of flowers and cakes and commercially sold cards this Mother's Day and a lot of people will make a lot of money off those things. But you were wrong about one thing - the bond between a heart-connected Mother and child will never be commercialized. Because the most important thing to that Mother on this Mother's Day and EVERYDAY is the knowledge that their child loves them. No amount of money in the world can purchase that bond.
"The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world". Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.
Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. Jarvis' push to create an official holiday was met with opposition by some. Sen. Henry Moore Teller described the notion of Mother's Day as "absolutely absurd," and "trifling." In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.
Although Jarvis was successful in founding Mother's Day she soon became resentful of the commercialization and was angry that companies would profit from the holiday. By the early 1920s, Hallmark and other companies started selling Mother's Day cards. Jarvis became so embittered by what she saw as misinterpretation and exploitation that she protested and even tried to rescind Mother's Day. The holiday that she worked so hard for was supposed to be about sentiment, not about profit. Jarvis's intention for the holiday had been for people to appreciate and honor mothers by writing a personal letter, by hand, expressing love and gratitude, rather than buying gifts and pre-made cards. Jarvis organized boycotts and threatened lawsuits to try to stop the commercialization. She crashed a candymakers' convention in Philadelphia in 1923. Two years later she protested at a confab of the American War Mothers, which raised money by selling carnations, the flower associated with Mother’s Day, and was arrested for disturbing the peace.
Jarvis's holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world." End quote.
I'll have to say that I agree with Ms. Javis' assessment - but this holiday is not the only one tainted by the greed of money hungry companies that pull your heart strings because they have learned to do that so well and have become extremely rich doing it.
There could be an argument made that Mothers are the most influencing factor in most people's lives. After all, we each are made within our Mother's bodies, we develop and grow and then enter the world through her labor, pain and effort. But, that is not the definition of a Mother any more than the sperm donor being the definition of a Father. So, while it may be true that Mother's carry a huge influence on our lives, it is not because of the physical connection of the act of childbirth.
Mother's are made when a loving bond is formed between two hearts........When a child attaches themselves to a woman's heart, in any form, and a woman attaches themselves to a child's heart, in any form, a Mother is born. I do believe God intended it this way. Actually, if you go back to the story in the Bible of the Garden of Eden, becoming a Mother in the traditional sense - giving physical birth to a child - was a punishment pronounced on Eve and all women to follow for breaking God's commandment. Doesn't sound like a very loving situation in that sense does it?
My Mother was my biological Mother in the sense that I came to be her child through the womb growing, painful birthing method. But, she was so much more...........
My Mother had a hard life compared to most. She grew up in a loving family - they worked hard to eek out a living on the land, farming, growing and harvesting as the weather allowed. She only had an eighth grade education - the idea being that most women would not need education because they would have a husband later in life to provide the monetary needs. An education was seen as a waste of time for girls when they could be home helping in the fields. Her father had diabetes and in those days there was not a lot of knowledge about correct treatment, so he died when he was quite young, as was my mother. Her mother took over the running of the farm and the carrying on of the family with the help of her sons. All the children, including my mother, were taught that life was hard, but when the going got tough you didn't give up, you kept going. They were a God-fearing, church going, Christian family - the kind of family that was the original backbone of this nation......sad to say we've come a long way from that now. They were the rule, not the exception unlike today when it seems to be just the opposite.
She ran away and married my father - her family forbidding the union because of age and need for her help on the farm. She regretted it from the first day...... My father was a hard man..strict, demanding, hard to love. But my mother had been so ingrained with the idea that you took the cards you were dealt and made the best of them that she forged ahead. She was a farm wife who never got a thank you, a gift, even an act of kindness from her husband for 25 years. Her life consisted of trying to meet the many demands laid on her by my father daily and the raising of five children. We were a church going family and my father was a deacon and a highly respected man of the church because, unfortunately, the church didn't know the real man the way his family did. When I was ten years old, my father grew tired of the boring life of a farmer and decided he needed a change - a mistress, a different job, a different town and a completely different way of life that excluded church. So my mother was tossed aside like a rag doll and left to her fend for herself. I always loved my mother and was proud of her, but I guess this is the time of her life that I will always remember her as being one of the strongest women I would ever know. Amidst unfathomable odds, she reinvented herself. She walked into the bank in our small town and boldly asked for a loan - on her own signature. She had nothing to offer. Just her word. She asked for money to buy a used car, to rent a house and to keep her afloat until she could get a job at a local factory doing the only thing she knew how to do - sew. The bank gave her the loan on her word only. My older sister taught her how to drive. She got the sewing job, rented a house and moved the remains of her family to town, starting all over again.
Most mothers don't have it that hard......many others have it harder. But there is a common thread that runs through all mothers of all types........they would lay down their life in a heartbeat for the safety and welfare of their child....that child to which their heart bonded in love many years before. See, there's something every mother knows. That card that their child makes for them that is smeared with extra paint, has messy writing and sometimes just has their name means more to them than 10,000 commercially printed and sold cards. THAT is the one that will be kept for years to come, will go in the scrapbook or the memory box or the drawer that holds the special items that speak to a mother's heart.
So, yes, Mrs. Jarvis, there will be a lot of flowers and cakes and commercially sold cards this Mother's Day and a lot of people will make a lot of money off those things. But you were wrong about one thing - the bond between a heart-connected Mother and child will never be commercialized. Because the most important thing to that Mother on this Mother's Day and EVERYDAY is the knowledge that their child loves them. No amount of money in the world can purchase that bond.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Cruising.......the good, the bad and everything inbetween.......
DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read is entirely OUR experience. Please do not let it influence you in any way in making your own decision about whether this is the vacation for you or not. There are two kinds of people - ones who LOVE to cruise and one who DO NOT LOVE to cruise. I do not want to be responsible for keeping you from experiencing something that might be the best thing you ever did. So, please before you read, keep in mind. Everyone is different, everyone has a different experience, everyone sees things in a different way. This is just my story of our particular experience. Just as watching the movie "Jaws" has not keep us out of the water, please take our experience with the same thought in mind. Just because it happened to us, does not mean it will happen to you!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
All of us have things in life that we want to experience and see before we leave this beautiful planet that God has so generously given us to enjoy. For years, Gene's dream has been to take a cruise. I, on the other hand, had always been afraid too, because of seasickness. I have never had good experiences on the water, except in other people's boats in the river or inter-coastal waterways. We have family in Savannah that lives on the inter-coastal waterway and when the girls were little, we would go spend the weekend and go out in their boat and have a wonderful time - every time! But, every other time, when I went out on a boat of any size or in turbulent waters, I ended up sick as a dog. Case in point, after we had been married a year, Gene took me to Miami and we went out deep-sea fishing. My trip consisted of laying on the inside bench of the captains room, throwing up in a bucket. And as if that weren't enough to convince me, we chartered a boat out of Key Largo once to take us snorkeling on the other side of the reef there and me and both our girls ended up very, very sick. I even got sick on the "Maid of the Mist" ride at Niagara Falls!
But, over the years, I have talked to many,many people who said the same thing. "On a cruise ship, you don't feel it. You don't get sick because they have stabilizers and it keeps the ship from rocking and rolling. You hardly know you are moving." If you were one of those people who told me that, I don't blame you, because no doubt this was your experience or you wouldn't have said it. And also, people told me to get all the things available now for seasickness - patches behind the ear, bonine, dramamine, sea bands (bands that go around your wrists that have a pressure point ball that presses into your wrist).
So, I decided Gene and I would do it! We would take that cruise that he had wanted to go on for so long. Well, it seemed that other plans were in order for us from the beginning. The first cruise we booked in December went bust when two days before we were supposed to leave for Florida, Gene's eye surgeon went to take the stitch out of his eye where he had cataract surgery and the cornea began to tear and fluid began to leak out. They had to immediately put stitches back in the eye and of course we were not about to go on a cruise with his eye like that. So, we cancelled and re-booked for January. Two days before the January trip, Gene is diagnosed with the flu. Again, no cruise for us. Still determined to do this thing, I booked again, at a lower price which we took as a good sign, and we were set for February.
Now, let me assure you that I am a person who thoroughly investigates everything before I do it. I check out every review I can read, I go to consumer reports and read everything they say, I read blogs of other person's experiences, etc. Then armed with all that information, I make a half way educated decision. Well, on this one, I somehow failed. Now - after the fact - I can find all kinds of bad reviews about the boat we took, the cruise line we chose, etc. Maybe I investigated from a slanted point of view because I wanted to go so bad!
We were excited when we left home, looking forward to a good trip. Gene felt weak from having had the flu a few weeks before, but insisted he was well enough to go. RED FLAG #1 - Do not do this if you are not at your height of health. In our case, we were going to be visiting 4 islands in 7 days. That's a lot of walking in heat and sunshine to which you are not accustomed. While cruising may be a relaxing experience to some, it did not prove to be so for us. It was exhausting....
We used one of the Park and Go lots to park the car because those were $7.99 a day instead of $12. They drove a shuttle right up to the car and they loaded our suitcases and us and carried us directly to the cruise terminal. RED FLAG #2 - the driver of the shuttle was in a big hurry so he THREW one our larger suitcases off the shuttle, breaking a piece off the handle which had the identification tag on it. However, the crew from the ship said "don't worry, we will take care of it and it won't get lost". More about this later. Gene used his walker because he still did not have all his strength back, which ended up being a good thing for us because that put us in the disabled line and we were able to go straight through check-in and directly onto the boat without delay. We were greeted by one of the nice staff members and told our cabin was already ready even though it was only 1:00 and we could go to our room. We did and were well pleased. It was a nice room, with TV, DVD player, good size bathroom, lots of storage space (however, still not enough for the RIDICULOUS amount of stuff I packed), sofa and a spacious deck. Here are some pictures of us on the deck before we left shore:
We had our safety meeting, the final call for boarding was made and it was time to leave. We stood on our deck and waved at all the other ships in port and workers and anybody that would wave and with anticipation set out on what we had hoped would be a wonderful journey. I had discovered at the hotel the night before that we had forgotten the patches prescribed for seasickness and left them home (I had 8 million other things I DIDN'T need, but not the one I did!), so I was wearing my sea bands. These go on your wrists and put pressure on a certain point on the underside of your wrist to stop nausea. They work!!! And believe me, it was a good thing they did!
We decided we would go find this wonderful abundance of food we had been told about because by this time, we were hungry. We found these to be our choices - there were three restaurants on board that charged just like the restaurants you eat at anywhere else, there was the main dining room which had two major entree choices every night an appetizer and a couple of dessert choices but at least it was included in the fare - main drawback was men were expected to wear jackets at dinner, there was the cafeteria style serving line (which is where most people at) that would have self-serve salad, desserts, breads and drinks, but you had to go through the line to get your main entree and sides. They had some pretty decent tenderloin steak a couple of night, but the other nights, it was chicken fixed 500 ways or spaghetti and sauces. The sides were rice or potatoes and mixed vegetables. That was it! We did have pork loin one night and cod and mahi mahi one night which were both pretty good,but other than that, it was pretty skimpy. And, when they fixed your plate, they were very skimpy. They would put half a spoonful on the plate of each thing and that was it. Let me say one thing right here - NEVER DURING THE ENTIRE TRIP DID I EVEN SEE A LOBSTER - MUCH LESS PUT ONE IN MY MOUTH! The cafeteria was only open certain hours. Otherwise, you had room service which had a hamburger, a club sandwich, potato chips, fruit and cookies on it or you could go pool side to the bar area and get slices of pizza from 11:30 am until 6 every day or to a hamburger/hotdog stand called the "Dive In" to get hamburgers or hotdogs from 11:30 to 9 every day. I don't know what we had built up in our mind, but this was not it. We had heard about eating constantly, food everywhere, all the lobster and sea food you could handle, and on and on and we saw NONE of that. Now, I know there are those of you who are saying "wasn't that enough". Well, quite frankly, for the price we paid, no, it wasn't. I expected better choices more often.
The first night at sea, we experienced our first storm. If I have any piece of advice for you that you will consider important PLEASE let it be this. When you are choosing your room, go middle and go low. We were the second room from the front of the ship on the outer port side on the 4th deck. The engines were LOUD and we felt every little move the ship made. The wind howled outside our door so loud it sounded like a hurricane. We had to lock our deck door to keep it from constantly blowing open and sucking everything out of the room. We could not use the deck when we were moving. The wind was so strong you had to hold on or you would have been blown overboard. That night it stormed and rained and the ship pitched back and forth and back and forth. I didn't get seasick, but I thought I would go mad. We couldn't lay still in the bed. It was constantly throwing you back and forth and back and forth. I finally took towels and pillows and stuffed them all around myself to try to stay still. The next day wasn't much better. Everyone was having trouble walking. No one could balance. They had to hold on to things to stand up. Praise God for sea bands!! I also took a couple of Bonine (like Dramamine) and those I'm sure helped me to not have nausea.
I'll address the stops at the islands and then post some pictures and be done because I realize I'm getting long winded. At each island stop, they put you into port and you got off and went directly to THEIR shops. How do I know they were their shops? Because they had advertised them to us before we got there. Their main focus was to sell diamonds and jewelry. If you didn't buy their expensive excursions into the towns, all you had a choice of seeing was their expensive stores. Everybody had their hand out. They gave seminars on the ship giving out 50% off discount cards to be used on the islands. That's all well and good, but if you take a $5,000 ring and take 50% off it's still too high for my pocketbook.
By the second day Gene was running fever and feeling terrible again. He went to the ship's medical center, where the doctor checked him over, did not run any tests and pronounced a relapse of the flu. He gave him Tamiflu and Mucinex and charged us almost $300. Gene ended up feeling terrible the rest of the trip and as you know, had to be hospitalized in Savannah for a serious case of bronchitis.
All in all, we went through 4 bad storms while at sea, one woman broke her arm because the boat pitched so badly she feel and her arm broke, Gene was too sick to ride his horse like he had so wanted to - luckily they resold his ticket and we got that money back, I was too sick to even get off the boat in San Juan because of a storm the night before and seasickness did overcome me for a while and Gene was too sick to get off the boat at Half Moon Cay.
Now that I've told you all the bad, I will tell you the good. The staff - all of them from the highest paid down to our cabin steward - were some of the nicest people I have ever meet. They went out of their way to try to help us have an enjoyable trip, but it just wasn't meant to happen for us. Now that I look back on it, I kinda feel like God sent us two chances to not take this trip, but we were determined - so He let us have our way. "There's a way that seems right to a man....."
Here are some more pictures - one sure thing about it - God made a beautiful world for us to enjoy!
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